A gentleman named Ray Steib, who wins for attitude and phrasing.
“How many Generation X associate lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?”
Answer: “That is an impossible question, because screwing in a light bulb is manual labor and Gen X associates would rather sit in the dark than get up off their lazy asses and get their hands dirty.”
Well done, Ray. (Pat Lamb was runner-up with: “One. The person holds the light bulb while the universe revolves around them.”)